Scattered Thoughts From A Scattered Mind

For those of you who have emailed me regarding my poetry anthology "Scattered Thoughts from a Scattered Mind," I have just made the downloadable copy available on Lulu.com. If you are interested, please feel free to follow the link and download away! All I ask is that you send all feedback to the website!


Happy reading =) Look out for the new novel next year!

"One Liquid Flame Pt 1"

By: @Gemini_Enigma 

 

... Open eyes chilled, I say that I'm real,
yet it might just be a sign sealed that only time reveals.
I kinda feel like my mind will peel,
until I whine and squeal,
searching for a heart that I intend to find and steal.
Hmmmmmmm.......this is difficult,
thinking about her in 2-minute-intervals.
Stuck in a dream, I seem similar to pitiful,
in her soul an uncompared beauty,
But not the typical centerfold,
I fiened what eyes seen with the keenest timing,
to get a glimpse or touch the lips of the Phoenix rising.
Devour the pearl, she’s out of this world like Venus, I think,
she’s a powerful girl, a genius enticing
me to slip with shy speech, she’s hypnotizing.
The kryptonite leaks, I miss the night we
tasted skin, tryna figure the best way to bend.
The Ace and 10 pacing in the place we’re in,
start at the side of your thighs and then graze the end ...
...."Focus, Focus" I'm staring and you notice,
hocus pocus, magically you molest my heart when it feels the brokest,
overwhelming like the plague of locusts,
losing concentration, drowning in the oceans,
soaking hot drip drop, sighs of the chosen
the withdrawals, you might know this.
The mind lingers when I'm eager, I need my doses,
bodies the closest, the heat so potent.
Breathing impossible, leaving’s not probable.
Achieving optical satisfaction superseding all obstacles
the blackout is over, you are a warm night
when the rain storm bites
and ignites you with the might to form life
yet the physical charm causes critical harm
so sensitive I have to raise spiritual arms
deep, pure, as I reach your heart.
I teach my part as I learn to kneel at art
food for thought? If you know what I was thinking,
do you know where the meal would start??
When you’re spreading wings, heaven sings
of what a wedding brings ...
I'm letting dreams of distant future seem festering
distracted by how the usual stem rips
from the flower, forgetting that this is a beautiful friendship  ,,,

... the esoteric entropy

"Raindrops of Fire"

I'm touched by flames of orange congruence

as I poured the fluids

hidden within a storm so prudent

and swore I knew it

torn in my core so I war with the nuisance.

Holding hands with a chance

that came in the form of a Judas,

freezing the evening, the warm is useless.

Yet we can only possess what Lord chooses

sometimes I forget, and think:

"Maybe I should be more ruthless."

I search for a chord in music

to find my sores and sooth it.

What do I take for the bruises

that are intangible?

I'm not used to using the instincts of an animal,

so I try to grin and bear it, but I feel a sting in my mandible.

I feel like a canceled soul,

I need my armor back, my shirts and pants are old.

Hearing the slow heart beat, so I dance with cold.

I thought I saw the finish line so I ran for gold

and clashed with those who answer bold!

I try to get a grip but my hands aren't whole.

I'm flying underwater, I hope I land on shore,

climbing up the walls but I'm trying to stand on the floor.

I keep emitting signs of a pain no man can ignore.

Not getting burnt is instilled, a desire to ascend

but I'm in front of a windmill and there's fire in the wind.

I'm tired of the end substituting my beginnings.

As the empire will pretend

that I'm not wired to the sin.

While I ask the bartender to pour my glass higher with the Gin.

Wish I could be innocent as infant,

but I would be a liar amongst men,

hearts at a loss, but my mind only admires a win-win.

So I'm holding tight like pliers to make a dire imprint.

And sigh first as I burst, so no one enquires my intent.

Picture Source: Google Images

By @Gemini_Enigma

"Midnight Wonder"

I am a candle, she is the flame.

She is the handle, I am the blade.

I am the gamble, she is the pay.

She is the banjo ... I know how to play.

I am the ammo, she is the gauge.

She is the chandelier, I look up to and gaze.

I am the camouflage, she hides in the shade.

She is a panther, I'm the jungle where she lays.

I am the answer, she questions my taste.

She is my gander, I am the founder of grace.

I am a mammal, she is the blood in my veins.

She is ample happiness, yet I am the pain.

I lie in the desert like camels, while she is the rain.

Individually we are defined examples, together isn't the same,

because I still don't know who we are on this plain.

My heart battles my mind in shame.

By @Gemini_Enigma

"Caption of Blind Sight"

Thinking of the only flame that lacks fire,

like a campfire, I admire without satire.

Words of verity transpire and never backfire,

I just sit back, wired ...

with a six pack of Fat Tire.

To dissolve my resolve, as I act tired,

a revolution of resolution; old ways thrown in a black pyre.

So whatever life throws at you, you have to bat higher,

never striking out, it can never be that dire.

Pulling ice from the clouds to calm down when I pack fire,

I can't slip, trying to get a grip, with a pair of glass pliers.

People think I'm not honest because they always ask liars,

being framed, they write my name on black fliers.

My character is attacked because of the fact that I lack "priors" ...

just a track writer, ready to explode like when u ignite a cracked lighter!

Wrapped in chains and use them to cause pain like Ghost Rider,

deep in the pool of life, with no wife, Ima nose diver,

I make flows tighter like pro-fighter blows and glow brighter,

while you tryna find the purpose, like drinking cold cider.

Following rules like cartoons "Eat at Joe's Diner",

I want the whole enchilada, but they say I need a co-signer,

in my dome I roam within a lone cypher,

got you spooked in your home, I'm the anonymous phone dialer.

Have you crawling up the walls like I cloned spiders,

leaving no footprints as I float in toe gliders.

Manifest an eclipse from my lips that broke your sight first,

making your cloaked demise worse as you evoke time's curse,

Which broke the mind's verse, you choke on the rhyme burst.

I've been a pro since God chose to mold divine dirt,

it made Me, so apparently ... you know that I'm sure!

By: @Gemini_Enigma

Unbelievable

A life worth celebrating -

not meant to be mourned.

A man always true to his own heart,

is now resting righteously where he belongs.

In the arms of other angels,

in the direct presence of God,

Maybe it's the impact he's made on us,

that makes his passing hit so hard.

Though to know he's in a better place,

should comfort all of our cries;

Take a look around you right now -

he touched each and every one of our lives.

A man of such little words,

spoke enough - showed enough - lived long enough

to embed in our heads that he's strong enough -

to watch over all of us -

just as if he were still next to us ... but

now he's just living inside of us!

Grandpa changed lives

he changed opinions -

he gave hope that there all still good people in the world we live in!

A task only an angel could accomplish - considering

we live in a world which swims in deceit & sin.

A life worth celebrating -

not meant to be mourned -

Another angel we lost

because it was their time to return back home!

xoxo Rest In Peace Grandpa xoxo

12*13*30 ~ 12*30*06

By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless

Picture Source: Google Images

Def Poetry: Mollie Angleheart

Def Poet: Mollie Angleheart "That Psychotic Bitch"



"...I don't need you to do my hair or my nails cuz I'm not spoiled .. I make my own money hunny, so why you still acting sooo fuckin' funny?..."

It Is What It Is

The say time heals all wounds -

yet I'm still here bleeding -

patiently waiting.

This battle with myself is suffocating;

I'm choking on my own words while drowning in my own thoughts.

True strength is not deemed by the pounds one can hold ...

but by the courage of a smile guarding a blanket of fear  - ready to unfold.

Nothing sincerely seems real when your harboring fear;

you've let go of the situation,

the person,

and what you thought was the pain;

yet the source of the leaking drain -

is the fear that still remains.

That fear of history repeating itself -

of getting the same cards you've already been dealt.

That annoying "intuition" that "he's just another typical guy,"

when YOU KNOW damn well deep inside...

he's THE ONE you can't live without by your side.

That chest clenching feeling when he's coming home late ...

IS the feeling he's cheating -

caused by the last guy you used to date.

You can call it lack of self confidence

call it my "girlish pride"

But the truth of the matter is, it's all based on the fear -

that I see "forever" in what you've deemed as "just a ride"

If only you knew the pain I've already endured -

If only I realized sooner the damage that pain has really caused.

Would we meet right back on that eye-to-eye level?

Or would it all still be so dramatically disheveled?

I apologize to you from the very deepest of my heart

that I let one simple mistake of yours make my roller coaster of fear start.

This was "our" coaster - so to speak -

we designed the ups and downs.

Yet I allowed my own fear of getting hurt again,

transform us to a Merry Go Round.

I fell in love with the person you are

then tried to change you into what I thought would keep me "safe."

And you loved me enough to accomodate my insanity,

now we both have what we've known we both hate!

That guy that loves his girl to death yet is patiently gasping for air.

That girl who feels like bugging out every time her man isn't right there.

Like we both don't return home to same golden throne!

I'm sorry it took me so long to see -

what you've meant by "I'm still here" ...

it's anything but easy being with me!

                                                 Always Remember tell em Jo Jo Said It!

                           Know Your Flaws, Own Your Flaws ... so you can work out your flaws!

Written By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless

Unbelievable

A life worth celebrating -

not meant to be mourned.

A man always true to his own heart,

is now resting righteously where he belongs.

In the arms of other angels,

in the direct presence of God,

Maybe it's the impact he's made on us,

that makes his passing hit so hard.

Though to know he's in a better place,

should comfort all of our cries;

Take a look around you right now -

he touched each and every one of our lives.

A man of such little words,

spoke enough - showed enough - lived long enough

to embed in our heads that he's strong enough -

to watch over all of us -

just as if he were still next to us ... but

now he's just living inside of us!

Grandpa changed lives

he changed opinions -

he gave hope that there all still good people in the world we live in!

A task only an angel could accomplish - considering

we live in a world which swims in deceit & sin.

A life worth celebrating -

not meant to be mourned -

Another angel we lost

because it was their time to return back home!

xoxo Rest In Peace Grandpa xoxo

12*13*30 ~ 12*30*06

By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless

Picture Source: Google Images

9-5 10-6

                                                      

By @NVBreeds

Secrets locked inside,
My eyes they do not lie,
These streets are nowhere to hide,
I go to work when the birds sing,
I’m up all night
My phone rings,
No one understands,
Was this God’s plan?
I am day and night,
In the day no one knows,
I hustle, dark or light,
In the night my money flows,
During the day my humble shows,
My daily routine keeps me grounded,
The night leaves my heart pounding,
Will I ever find peace?
Caught in between,
What is right and what is fast,
I hear what is fast doesn’t always last,
Am I blessed or cursed,
They say karma will always reimburse
Am I wrong because I can multiply?
Nothing about me can be simplified,
Time will only tell,
If I’ll make it into heaven or hell,
For now I have no apology,
I could never be sorry for being me… 

Let Him

Will somebody please define "cheating" for me...


does it have to be taken to a physical degree?

Or does even one's words breech an unwritten decree?

Lately I've been asking myself why you take advantage of...

my love,

my trust,

my devotion.

It's always the same motion...

we're up together

and down apart...

you leave too much space between me and your heart
 
Written By @MzFilterless

Unfinished Chapter

You move me -
from the second you walked across that street and into my life -
I've felt like you conclude me.
You're voice has the power to calm me,
to console me -
sometimes the power to free me.
I look into your eyes and it changes me,
almost as if you put the hope of happiness back into my head and that inspires me.
I love the way I feel when you're around me -
like Nelly and Kelly you have that secrecy about you that draws me in -
The time I've spent away from you eats at me-
I know everything I'm saying ends in "me"
but I can't help it,
I feel like you're a part of me.
Maybe not my "better half"
but a big enough piece of me to feel empty when I don't have you there.
Even if only at a distance -
because I know you well enough to know you feel safer that way.

Written By @MzFilterless

The Fence

How do you miss someone that's never left?

Want someone through all the stress?
Still look in their eyes and see nothing less...
than all you ever wanted?

I've become a damsel in distress caught in the same trap I've always set to catch the opposite sex in their little games,
now I feel like the lame because I'm caught in the same position.

My body keeps twitching while my heart is breaking,
all by the same hands that rub down my body when it's aching.

And knowing this, I still yearn for his undivided attention,
I've spent the last three years in ONLY his detention,
with NEVER even the slightest of ill intentions.

I just want to be the one who makes him happy.

Oh will somebody please just slap me -
right out of the funk that I've found myself in
feeling like loving someone this much...
is a sin --
Even worse thinking this game is one that I --
cannot win.

This is deep -
I'm living the dream while losing the sleep -

because he,
is all I can think about.

This wasn't the way we planned this all out.

We're standing at a line -
battling with both our hearts and minds
allowing pride to referee the game and I'm --
kinda conflicted.

When did everything get so twisted?

Part of me feels like I'm dreaming while the other part smells something scheming in the same air that we share...when we're alone.

Our Home -
is not stable....Is it still savable?

Perfection is only a direction -
a goal which makes us all strive knowing damn well the trip, we'll never survive.

Cuz our Human Nature forbids it.

But what I see in your eyes
goes deeper than your disguise
I know the truths behind your lies
I listen to ALL your silent cries
and I've --
been right beside you all this while --
trying to help you.

Baby this line...
is where I need you,
to give me back the effort that I'm used to.
I thought me and you were fool-proof.

My heart bleeds as my mind proceeds to interfere with this force of attraction.
We're stuck in a time where interaction has been minimized to the bare basics of small talk conversation.

I need a sign aside from your presence...
To see an action action behind your sentence...
Anything to show me your willingness to fight for this relationship.
Do it for me...
I'm on the fence with this.
Lately I feel like we're just friends with benefits.

You're my best friend before you're my lover...
this bond we've built resembles no other...
so why do you chose to run to another...
to satisfy even the need to just kill time?
 
Written By @MzFilterless

I Am

In a world so restless,
I am hyper.

In a state of depression,
I am happy.

In a town of sophistication,
I am confused.

In a house of many spirits,
I am alone.

Where he is,
I am not.

Where he longs to be,
I am.

When we are together,
it is heaven in hells eyes.

When we are alone,
it is destiny in disguise.

Through the thunder and rain he was by my side.

But now,
while the storm still rages against the wind,
He remains in his own little world.

Where I am not allowed,
nor am I wanted.

But I am still here,
wanting, wishing and waiting,

for him to want me there.
 
Written By @MzFilterless

One Voice

I have but one voice -


for years that one voice harbored in the silent safety of notebooks and napkins.

Though I spoke of and for many -

my voice was never heard.

It took one person to inspire me,

one emotion to carry me,

yet many years to convince me,

that my voice was worth hearing.

That my words were worth listening to.

My opinions changed as I spoke out -

the government gave me more to speak about.

Life gave me more to cry about.

Though I didn't - I wrote.

I wrote til pens ran out of ink,

til pencils lost their edge,

til the tears stopped trying to break through.

I finally had the courage and self-security to speak out.

Yet who would I speak to?

Where could my voice be heard loud enough not to be drowned out by others?

and would it?

I hesitated, I thought, I wrote, I thought some more...

yet I remained silent.

My voice stretched no further than select friends and family.

An abstract imagination grown insecure while rapidly evolving.

The thoughts controlled my creativity -

holding captive at times from the fairy tale I dreamed of.

Then it happened.

A poetry reading -

my friends and family starring up at me on a stage made of cheap wood -

silhouettes and shadows of eight shine on my face making the fear that much more visible.

The music stopped.

I heard my name being announced and I felt liberated - comfortable.

Like the stage of cheap wood was my home -

and the microphone was an object I was born with.

Like a baby's pacifier, it calmed me.

When I spoke - the crowd nodded in agreement with my words.

Their faces showed the same emotions I felt when writing.

My mother shed the tears I had held back in the transition from thought to paper.

Never again did I ask when my voice would be heard.

For now, and forever...when I want to be heard,

I will just speak louder!
 
Written By @MzFilterless

The Gift I Couldn't Give

Today - like every other day lately...


I have nothing to offer you but my love -

but as soon as I rise above

the chaos and debt that my life is made up of,

I have every intention to embellish the crown

that invisibly rests upon your head because as your first born - I'd rather be dead...

than to have you walking around this earth -

without knowing and truly feeling that I appreciate your worth.

I could have bought you a card and wrote out a sentence,

signed my name to someone else's words as if mine didn't prove the same consensus...

but I don't need to spend the $4 on a Hallmark card,

because to show a Mother's love is priceless -

I'm giving you the words straight from my heart.

Though we have our different views and show our affections in different ways,

we battle through the same way of life and live through the same number of uncounted days.

Since neither of ours are unlimited - there should be none that finish through-

without hearing your voice and making sure you know

at the end of each - I still love you.

You are my mother - my only mother

the one who gave me her words and let me live to discover the lessons behind the truths she uncovered

We live and we learn

We lose and we earn

and eventually we give back since the tables always turn.

So on your 27th year celebrating the chance you've given -

by chance I'm referring to this life I am living...

remember my words;

not the absence of a card-

not the money you've spent when my life got too hard -

not the boyfriend you see for me inside your head...

just remember the truths in the words that I've said.

You are my mother

my definition of strength

the only example I had of "going the extra length,"

If a gift or a card could portray that intensity

and can identically match the level of what you mean to me...

it would probably cost a lot more than I have on me!

But regardless - I love you unconditionally

and more importantly -

I appreciate ALL that you've done for me.

Happy Mother's Day

Written By @MzFilterless
Dedicated to my mama =)

That Damn iPhone

If I didn't lean on your shoulder as much...


if I didn't fiend for the slightest of your touch...

if I explored more passionately into your domain,

rather than imploring you so irrationally to revisit my terrain...

would your behavior be less afflicting or would it remain the same?

That iPhone...

that damn iPhone.

It allows you to drift away instantaneously,

all the while that you're still sitting right next to me.

And even though the phone is turned so I cannot see...

I love you enough to feel you giving away "my" energy.

Tap, tap, tapping away so incessantly

returned by a repeated vibration that distresses me.

Call it my intuition or just the return of a woman's scorn...

but I know it's another female on the other side of that horn...

YES..this is still cheating - in it's weakest form.

From MySpace to our space and all that came in between

we've built this life together - by any and all means.

So what is so enticing on that iPhone of yours?

Or is it just the satisfaction of attracting what isn't yours?

What for?

I would shatter my own heart and watch it selflessly bleed,

just to ensure you have all that you need.

Yet you take that for granted with each stroke of those keys.

That damn iPhone takes away all your attention,

sending it through technology into another's dimension.
 
Written By @MzFilterless

Battle of a Skinny Girl

YES! I am am skinny...


you think I don't know?

If YOU think being this small is sooo

fantastic than why don't you trade places with me...

so you can finally see

that THIS size is an utter catastrophe!



I cannot find clothes that fit my little waist

that also cover my ass

and still show my fashion taste.

My pants are always too long

I cannot slide without a belt

I can never wear shorts or skirts without hearing the jealousy that others felt.



You take my size and give me some of your weight

cuz no matter what I eat...gaining is not in my fate.

To you this may be a blessing but no matter how hard I try

a shirt will ALWAYS look better with boobs....

double sided tape IS a form of a LIE!



People telling me to eat something like I starve myself for an image!

Walk a few steps in my shoes to see what a nightmare being thin is.

Being referred to as "little one"

compared to broomsticks and poles

Walk a mile in my shoes, let me know how far that goes.



Standing five foot one with nothing but ass

32-23-35...

now don't these numbers clash?

Ahh 116-120

that's perfection to me...

not five foot one and 105

just looking oh so unhealthy.



I've reversed the Atkins and doubled the carbs

overdosed on peanut butter and it's still so hard.

The doctors blame metabolism

others blame the stress

yet I'm still here without the weight

man, is this a test?



So the next time you see a petite woman walking

stop and think how she feels when your eyes continue gawking.

Before you stop to tell her how jealous you are that she's thin...

look how much better you fill your clothes

and ask yourself who wins!

written By @MzFilterless