The Difference between GOOD and TOXIC Friends

At times it could be quite hard to determine the difference between a good friend and a toxic one. Human nature tends to push us toward being naive and not seeing the bad in people; especially in a friend. Though the fact still lies that everyone is not exactly what they seem and human nature could also lead us to look out for ourselves before anyone else; survival of the fittest.


A friend is someone who listens to what you say. A good friend listens to what you don't say. Yet, a toxic friend, harbors over your every word and repeats it to whoever else will listen! In this world, it is more common to encounter or realize more toxic friends and acquaintances than good ones. There are so many old wives tales and typical advice from your grandmother about choosing friends and maintaining healthy friendships. It is not until you are forced into a position you never thought you'd be in with a friend, that you remember everything your grandmother or mother told you. Then you find yourself hating to say they told you so.

I was watching a Tyler Perry movie one day and amongst all the other morals and ethics the script tried to convey, he used the metaphor of trees to describe the different types of people who could enter ones life. It could not have been said more effectively. There are some people who come into our lives like the leaves on the branches; only there seasonally and fall off with the slightest of a breeze. There are others who come like branches and however strong they may look, they snap when pressure is applied. Then you have the roots. Despite how big the tree is, it only needs a few good roots to maintain it's stability. And the different types of friends were explained.

Everyone knows how hard it can be to determine what type of friend you have. Everyone has that friend that gets "bypassed." The friend that everyone knows lacks the ability to be discreet, the friend who can't be trusted with secrets, can never hold a job, or is never there on time. To each his own. When attempting to differentiate what type of friend you are dealing with, one must only look at the persons actions against them; what directly affects that immediate relationship. Everyone has their faults and flaws. A toxic friend puts their own faults and flaws onto everyone they come into contact with.

A true friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out. A quote I have always remembered and tried my hardest not to take for granted. We all have times where we feel that we give more to someone or something than we get back. We all feel at times that we run for certain people who never seem to be around when you need them. We must look at these times and these situations when we question what type of friendship we have with a person. I have always known the type of relationship I have with a person, negative or positive. I have always known what my limits are with that person, even to the sense of knowing who will win the argument. Though a real friend can be seen when that person speaks of you with someone else when you're not there.

A real friend will always defend you and your existence even when you're not there to defend yourself. Right or wrong. I've learned that even when I'm wrong, my real friends will defend me and confront me later. Real friends are hard to come by, but they are even harder to keep when you don't realize their true meaning.



Written By @MzFilterless
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