The Baby Voice

Am I the only one who gets overly annoyed when grown people, male or female, throw on that baby voice when they've put themselves in manipulation mode? Lord, nothing is more annoying! Especially when they continue it throughout an entire conversation. Don't get me wrong, I bat my eyes and soften my voice like the best of them - when I want something. But that usually lasts for no more than a sentence (or in most cases, my apology!)

But then I'm right back to my usual JoJo sporadic thought and frequently cursing tone! Why? Because that's who I am. Why change who I am on your accord? Nnnnnnnaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

The next time you think you are as cute as the baby in this picture, take a mirror out, have a moment of silence for your age, and act accordingly! If you are a female and are with a man who falls for this type of behavior .... I suggest you keep a slide on the side cuz eventually that man gonna leave ya ass for a grown woman who don't need the baby voice to get what she wants!!!!! Boooooo Yahhhhhh!!!!! Yeaaaaaa..... JoJo said it bitches!!!! Get some new game!

By: Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow the BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt
Picture Source:  Google Images

The Power of Words

Relationships, intimate and platonic alike, are pointless without communication. And I'm not talking about talking just to talk. I mean, honest and genuine communication. With that being said, sometimes, more so with intimate relationships, you find yourself in a position where you didn't say something that you later realize you should have. Like those certain times where your girlfriend goes off on a tangent, accusing you of cheating. You know you're not cheating but your pride reacts before you do and you just let her talk. Is it so hard to calmly tell her how much she means to you and that you are NOT in fact cheating on her? No, cuz that would be too easy, right?

Ladies ... we have it a bit harder because most guys don't voice their emotional feelings. But, if you're talking to your guy about one of your male friends, or commenting on a cute guy walking down the street (if you and your guy are cool like that,) or you just innocently say something about how fly someone famous is ... and you're man either comes back on a negative defense or just starts twitching ...  he's having a jealous moment. It's kinda your job to comfort him, even if you have to cater to his ego for a moment or two. You know damn well if the situation was flipped that is how you would want him to react, so show him that you are willing to do the same for him.

Now reverse the situation. This concept of "see something, say something"  situations could mean the total opposite of what I've mentioned above. If you or your partner (or both of you) are always putting yourself in questionable situations, you need to just part ways. Physical cheating is NOT the only type of cheating. When you are in a relationship, everything you do affects the other person. The way you act outside your relationship, reflects the strength or weakness of your relationship, whether directly or indirectly. Let's say physical cheating isn't an issue in your relationship. But as you go about your normal day at school, work, shopping, or just hanging out with friends, and you engage in conversations with the opposite sex as if you were single... you're violating both your partner and your relationship.

I'm not at all saying while in a relationship to cut off the opposite sex. You all know how important I think maintaining friendships with the opposite sex is while in a relationship. What I'm saying is, when you are in a relationship, things change, including the way you speak to the opposite sex. I've been in a relationship for four years and I still have sexual conversations with the opposite sex. However, they are never personalized to me and another man. Example, it is perfectly normal and acceptable to engage in a conversation about the general topic of sex. But under no circumstances is it acceptable (or respectable for that matter) for someone in a relationship to speak to another man/woman about having sex with them, or what it would be like or anything of the like.

Common psychology will tell you that if you can engage in conversations like these, knowing you are committed to someone else ... you're not as committed as the front you're putting on. I say this because in all honesty, when you truly love someone, you don't see the opposite sex the same way anymore. Which is funny, because everyone knows that when you're in a relationship (or pregnant) the opposite sex flocks to you. This is especially true with females. Females can sense when a man has a girlfriend and more than enough times that attracts her more because the stress option is already taken. That man, in essence, is another woman's problem. This side female can move into the picture and only reap the benefits because once she gets what she wants, she sends him right back home to dish his bullshit out to his girl. The same goes for guys. The most bullshit a side guy will ever hear is that girl bitching about her man! Which is just giving him more ammo!

The moral of this story is to watch your words. Your words come from thoughts and eventually, your thoughts become actions! If you are a man who is in a relationship, yet proceeds to still have questionable conversations with other females, you're setting yourself up to potentially lose your girl. Why? Because you're putting it out there to another female that you don't respect your girl as much as you are saying you do. If you did, you wouldn't be carrying on such conversations with the second girl. And trust me, we sense that. You could sit there and tell me you love your girl and you would never cheat on her til you're blue in the face. But if you're still sitting on the phone with me every chance you get, allowing our conversations to go wherever they may lead, you're wrong. I will treat your girl like a byrd and you, like your single. Because that is the energy YOU are putting out there.

Once again, Jo Jo Said It ... make sure you know your role and stay in your lane if you are in a relationship. Sooner or later it will catch up with you and you'll learn the true meaning of the saying .. "play yaself, find yaself by yaself!"

By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow The BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt

Learn How To Talk

I think it's safe to say that 90% of people that are in a relationship these days, don't even know how to cultivate one. Yes, relationships are like flowers, as corny as that is. They need to be nurtured in order for them to grow (healthily.) One of the most important aspects of a relationship is communication. Now here, is where the battle of the sexes plays an important role. Men don't talk about their feelings enough and women can't keep their feelings to themselves. So how do we reach a happy  medium?

Easy! Know yourself and know your partner! I used to think that women were the weaker sex when it came to compromising. We want what we want, exactly when and how we want it! End of a sad story. But, over the years I've realized that the genders are equally at fault, just for different reasons.

Men don't like to voice their emotions because women only hear what they want to hear anyway. Men don't like to sugar coat things because when they do, (just to avoid hurting your feelings) the intensity of their point isn't conveyed to you properly. In other words, unless you men are straight up with us (brutal truth) we will always harp on the one positive thing you said while we proceed to call you an asshole for everything else that you said which completely contradicts how WE really feel!

Now women. Women, well, most women, can't detach themselves from their own feelings for long enough to actually LISTEN to what a mean is saying to them. Yes ladies, I know this is a new concept for some of you, but you need to take a step back sometimes and listen to what your man is saying to you, not just hear the jumble of words that utter from his mouth. That will save you a lot of tears!

Know your spouse. Especially men - if a man tells you something about yourself, it's more than likely because he cares. Okay, lemme clarify that. When a man truly cares about you, he will sit you down, so to speak and tell you about yourself. This is him, in a man's way,letting you know when your flaws are affecting the outside world. You don't have to follow everything he says, but at least take it into consideration. He may be telling you something you don't yet realize about yourself.

Fellas, this ain't all on us you know. Yes, us woman tend to make many situations worse with our fluctuating emotions and our knac for jumping to the worst possible conclusion. However, you need to figure out, case by case, how to deal with us. Stop treating us (or telling us in the midst of an argument) that we are all the same! There's definite similarities but we're not all the same, all the time. Refraining from treating us as such will save you many headaches.

Got it, get it, GOOD. Let that simmer in your head for the day and lemme know what arguments you avoid tomorrow! As always, Jo Jo Said It!

By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless

In A Battle With "The New"

What happens when a relationship leaves that "hearts and flowers" stage and enters that era of comfortability? I'll tell you what happens ... he no longer opens the door for you and you no longer "hold your tongue" when he goes out. He doesn't compliment you anymore, so you continue talking while you see he's watching the game! This is on the lighter end of the spectrum. Lately, I've found myself in almost constant conversation about relatiomships; long term relationships. Although everyone is so different, we're really not that far apart on the "I get fed up because ..." list.

Now, you all know I'm a firm believer of "the game changes after 2 years." Why all the changes happen at the two year mark is beyond me, but it's nonetheless annoying as fuck! Yes, this is going to be one of those pieces where I use my favorite curse words to emphasize my point! So pardon my tongue for this one! Do we just wake up on that morning of our two year anniversary, look at our significant other and just say "I don't have to try no more, I got you already" ?!?!? Or is it really just our subconscious acting on our comfort ability?

Do you know how many times I've heard a guy say, "it's just not new and exciting no more," HORSESHIT! A relationship is and can only be what the two of you make it! One sided relationships never make it. Why? Because a relationship is with two people; equally divided. It's a bond that you share with someone. If we could all hold down relationships by ourselves, well... that's a whole different blog!

Fellas, realize that your girl/wife is a woman, and women are emotional and sensitive no matter how "hard" they come off. Despite how independent we may be, at the end of the day ... we love your attention, are flattered by your affection and are soothed for your touch. We can only initiate so much with you. It's up to you to keep the "back and forth" going. For example, if you see that your girl is trying to get your attention, give it to her. I'm not saying drop everything you are doing (although sometimes, that's all it takes to show her that she's that important to you.) But if it's not the right time, there's a way to say that to her without making her feel insignificant. It's a beautiful feeling when you're man comes right to you when he's not busy! Just remember guys, the last thing a woman wants to feel is unwanted. If you love her, don't ever let her feel like that even for a second!

Ladies, if you're not getting what you want from your man .. try giving him what you know he wants; whatever it may be. If you still don't get the attention or outcome that you were seeking, let him know. Again, there is a way to do this without transferring the negative energy that you already feel. If it still doesn't work, then maybe you need to reflect and re-evaluate.

The easiest way to start to spice up a relationship is to change the way you see your relationship. Instead of saying, "Damn, we've been together for years..." (and sigh afterwards,) try thinking of it as if, "everyday is brand new." I shouldn't have to say this, but I will for all intensive purposes. Don't think that just because you change the way you see something that you no longer have to take action! ALWAYS PUT MEANING BEHIND YOUR WORDS AND THOUGHTS!

As a couple ... experience different things together. Go out and see the world. If you're local in NY, don't even try to tell me that there's nothing to do or that you've already done everything. Every trip into the City brings a new adventure! New sidewalk events, new bums on the corner who talk to themselves, new bars or lounges opening up. And at the very least , YOU have the power to divulge in new conversation while walking through Central Park! So, I don't even wanna hear your bullshit excuses as to why you can't spice your relationship up.

If you can honestly tell me that you've tried everything and it still didn't work ... then I can honestly say, neither will your relationship!!! Because YOU obviously don't want to make it work. Relationships are a give and take just as much as time is money! Hmmm, think about that and get back to me.

And Always remember to tell em ... Jo Jo Said It!

By: Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless

Picture Source: Google Images

The Truth Behind Texting

Like any new technology, texting is just another way we have created as a shortcut. Despite how you look at it, texting is a way to avoid a phone conversation. You may not necessarily be avoiding the person, but there is no way to deny you are avoiding the phone call. Texting is great when what you have to say to a person doesn't warrant a whole conversation. Why call a person to let them know you're outside their house when you can just send a quick text message?

On the flip side, texting is commonly used when you don't want to say something to a person, you'd rather just text it. Personally, I think this angle of texting starts more issues than it solves. The one thing about a conversation that a text message could never portray is emotion. Even with all the codes, abbreviations and smiley faces that are in rotation right now, the contents of a text message can easily be misinterpreted because they were not said. It's funny because even the phrase "ok" over a text could come off harsh and emotionless in certain situations.

Realistically speaking however, there are so many different types of people in the world, that it is hard to categorize why people text. Although I, personally, am a text-a-holic, I have my own specific reasons for avoiding phone conversations whenever possible. I am a Loan Officer, I work on the phones all day long. By the time I get off of work, the last thing I want to do is be on my phone! I will rudely decline your call only to text you and ask you what you wanted!

Texting rules out those awkward silent moments on the phone or the infamous space filling question of "what are you doing?" Of course there are those cases where a person will use text messages to avoid speaking to a specific person, but how often does that happen. Out of every 10 text messages you send, I think it's pretty safe to say only one or two was to avoid speaking to the person.

Text messaging can be a time saver or an argument starter depending on how a person utilizes it. I, myself am a victim of text messaging abuse, but hey, who isn't these days? Technology has advanced to such a point that there are phones on the market which dictate your voice into text messages! What will they think of next?

Written By @MzFilterless
Article can also be read at http://www.helium.com/

The Fence

How do you miss someone that's never left?

Want someone through all the stress?
Still look in their eyes and see nothing less...
than all you ever wanted?

I've become a damsel in distress caught in the same trap I've always set to catch the opposite sex in their little games,
now I feel like the lame because I'm caught in the same position.

My body keeps twitching while my heart is breaking,
all by the same hands that rub down my body when it's aching.

And knowing this, I still yearn for his undivided attention,
I've spent the last three years in ONLY his detention,
with NEVER even the slightest of ill intentions.

I just want to be the one who makes him happy.

Oh will somebody please just slap me -
right out of the funk that I've found myself in
feeling like loving someone this much...
is a sin --
Even worse thinking this game is one that I --
cannot win.

This is deep -
I'm living the dream while losing the sleep -

because he,
is all I can think about.

This wasn't the way we planned this all out.

We're standing at a line -
battling with both our hearts and minds
allowing pride to referee the game and I'm --
kinda conflicted.

When did everything get so twisted?

Part of me feels like I'm dreaming while the other part smells something scheming in the same air that we share...when we're alone.

Our Home -
is not stable....Is it still savable?

Perfection is only a direction -
a goal which makes us all strive knowing damn well the trip, we'll never survive.

Cuz our Human Nature forbids it.

But what I see in your eyes
goes deeper than your disguise
I know the truths behind your lies
I listen to ALL your silent cries
and I've --
been right beside you all this while --
trying to help you.

Baby this line...
is where I need you,
to give me back the effort that I'm used to.
I thought me and you were fool-proof.

My heart bleeds as my mind proceeds to interfere with this force of attraction.
We're stuck in a time where interaction has been minimized to the bare basics of small talk conversation.

I need a sign aside from your presence...
To see an action action behind your sentence...
Anything to show me your willingness to fight for this relationship.
Do it for me...
I'm on the fence with this.
Lately I feel like we're just friends with benefits.

You're my best friend before you're my lover...
this bond we've built resembles no other...
so why do you chose to run to another...
to satisfy even the need to just kill time?
 
Written By @MzFilterless