Learn How To Talk

I think it's safe to say that 90% of people that are in a relationship these days, don't even know how to cultivate one. Yes, relationships are like flowers, as corny as that is. They need to be nurtured in order for them to grow (healthily.) One of the most important aspects of a relationship is communication. Now here, is where the battle of the sexes plays an important role. Men don't talk about their feelings enough and women can't keep their feelings to themselves. So how do we reach a happy  medium?

Easy! Know yourself and know your partner! I used to think that women were the weaker sex when it came to compromising. We want what we want, exactly when and how we want it! End of a sad story. But, over the years I've realized that the genders are equally at fault, just for different reasons.

Men don't like to voice their emotions because women only hear what they want to hear anyway. Men don't like to sugar coat things because when they do, (just to avoid hurting your feelings) the intensity of their point isn't conveyed to you properly. In other words, unless you men are straight up with us (brutal truth) we will always harp on the one positive thing you said while we proceed to call you an asshole for everything else that you said which completely contradicts how WE really feel!

Now women. Women, well, most women, can't detach themselves from their own feelings for long enough to actually LISTEN to what a mean is saying to them. Yes ladies, I know this is a new concept for some of you, but you need to take a step back sometimes and listen to what your man is saying to you, not just hear the jumble of words that utter from his mouth. That will save you a lot of tears!

Know your spouse. Especially men - if a man tells you something about yourself, it's more than likely because he cares. Okay, lemme clarify that. When a man truly cares about you, he will sit you down, so to speak and tell you about yourself. This is him, in a man's way,letting you know when your flaws are affecting the outside world. You don't have to follow everything he says, but at least take it into consideration. He may be telling you something you don't yet realize about yourself.

Fellas, this ain't all on us you know. Yes, us woman tend to make many situations worse with our fluctuating emotions and our knac for jumping to the worst possible conclusion. However, you need to figure out, case by case, how to deal with us. Stop treating us (or telling us in the midst of an argument) that we are all the same! There's definite similarities but we're not all the same, all the time. Refraining from treating us as such will save you many headaches.

Got it, get it, GOOD. Let that simmer in your head for the day and lemme know what arguments you avoid tomorrow! As always, Jo Jo Said It!

By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless