Relationships, intimate and platonic alike, are pointless without communication. And I'm not talking about talking just to talk. I mean, honest and genuine communication. With that being said, sometimes, more so with intimate relationships, you find yourself in a position where you didn't say something that you later realize you should have. Like those certain times where your girlfriend goes off on a tangent, accusing you of cheating. You know you're not cheating but your pride reacts before you do and you just let her talk. Is it so hard to calmly tell her how much she means to you and that you are NOT in fact cheating on her? No, cuz that would be too easy, right?
Ladies ... we have it a bit harder because most guys don't voice their emotional feelings. But, if you're talking to your guy about one of your male friends, or commenting on a cute guy walking down the street (if you and your guy are cool like that,) or you just innocently say something about how fly someone famous is ... and you're man either comes back on a negative defense or just starts twitching ... he's having a jealous moment. It's kinda your job to comfort him, even if you have to cater to his ego for a moment or two. You know damn well if the situation was flipped that is how you would want him to react, so show him that you are willing to do the same for him.
Now reverse the situation. This concept of "see something, say something" situations could mean the total opposite of what I've mentioned above. If you or your partner (or both of you) are always putting yourself in questionable situations, you need to just part ways. Physical cheating is NOT the only type of cheating. When you are in a relationship, everything you do affects the other person. The way you act outside your relationship, reflects the strength or weakness of your relationship, whether directly or indirectly. Let's say physical cheating isn't an issue in your relationship. But as you go about your normal day at school, work, shopping, or just hanging out with friends, and you engage in conversations with the opposite sex as if you were single... you're violating both your partner and your relationship.
I'm not at all saying while in a relationship to cut off the opposite sex. You all know how important I think maintaining friendships with the opposite sex is while in a relationship. What I'm saying is, when you are in a relationship, things change, including the way you speak to the opposite sex. I've been in a relationship for four years and I still have sexual conversations with the opposite sex. However, they are never personalized to me and another man. Example, it is perfectly normal and acceptable to engage in a conversation about the general topic of sex. But under no circumstances is it acceptable (or respectable for that matter) for someone in a relationship to speak to another man/woman about having sex with them, or what it would be like or anything of the like.
Common psychology will tell you that if you can engage in conversations like these, knowing you are committed to someone else ... you're not as committed as the front you're putting on. I say this because in all honesty, when you truly love someone, you don't see the opposite sex the same way anymore. Which is funny, because everyone knows that when you're in a relationship (or pregnant) the opposite sex flocks to you. This is especially true with females. Females can sense when a man has a girlfriend and more than enough times that attracts her more because the stress option is already taken. That man, in essence, is another woman's problem. This side female can move into the picture and only reap the benefits because once she gets what she wants, she sends him right back home to dish his bullshit out to his girl. The same goes for guys. The most bullshit a side guy will ever hear is that girl bitching about her man! Which is just giving him more ammo!
The moral of this story is to watch your words. Your words come from thoughts and eventually, your thoughts become actions! If you are a man who is in a relationship, yet proceeds to still have questionable conversations with other females, you're setting yourself up to potentially lose your girl. Why? Because you're putting it out there to another female that you don't respect your girl as much as you are saying you do. If you did, you wouldn't be carrying on such conversations with the second girl. And trust me, we sense that. You could sit there and tell me you love your girl and you would never cheat on her til you're blue in the face. But if you're still sitting on the phone with me every chance you get, allowing our conversations to go wherever they may lead, you're wrong. I will treat your girl like a byrd and you, like your single. Because that is the energy YOU are putting out there.
Once again, Jo Jo Said It ... make sure you know your role and stay in your lane if you are in a relationship. Sooner or later it will catch up with you and you'll learn the true meaning of the saying .. "play yaself, find yaself by yaself!"
By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow The BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt
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