Dammit Kanye! It is now Day 4 that "Toast" is simmering in my head. It doesn't help that it's been getting hourly airplay either. So I feel the need to break it down now. We all hear Kanye's side as a man, but what about the women on the other side of this spectrum? Yes, most females who stand by these types of men are just weak, suckaz for love, but not all! Sadly, and I say sadly because it is sad, that there are strong females who stand by a man, dealing with all their smutery because of 3 main reasons: love, loyalty and the fact that they know their man is not physically cheating! Bitch, he's STILL in violation here!
As much as it sucks to admit ladies, they are never going to change without losing something they hold dear. Which is a contradiction in itself because if they held you dear, would they be drifting elsewhere? Even if it is just to casually flirt with other females solely to maintain their own ego, it's not right and you (despite who you are) are a woman at the end of the day and you don't deserve to be treated like a byrd. Mask it however you like, make whatever excuses you want, but because you stay loyal to a man who everyone, including yourself, can see is openly flirting with other females, is treating you like a byrd. He's sure as hell making you look like one! And I'm not saying talking about healthy, casual flirting here. I'm talking about the level of flirting that makes him seem single!
Now, back to Kanye's message. It's as clear as the message from the movie "He's Just Not That Into You." Do we really have to break down the lines of his song? From the very beginning of the song, that man starts his 5 minute warning to females in general. I can't lie, when I first heard the song I wanted to break something! It made every excuse I ever came up with go right out the window. If your man is jamming out to that song, you should really double check yaself, forget bout him. Take a good look at what YOU allow! Again I say that Eve said it the best, men only do what we allow, and in most cases, we do let them!
As hard as we try, we can't change other people. When you try to change someone else you wind up allowing yourself to change for that person. Why? Because that person is not going to change their ways for you, so what winds up happening? You mold your ways to accommodate them, knowing the entire time that they will not show you the same respect. A relationship is 50/50. And I'm not talking about financial input, no relationship will ever be equal in that respect. But effort-wise, everything should be 50/50. You should not be doing anything for a man or a woman for that matter, they are not willing to do for you.
You allow your man to send random females pictures of his personals... do you think he would accept you doing that same thing? Hell no! Try it, you'll find yourself in the middle of the "you're a female, you should respect yourself and stop acting like a whore," speech which comes right before he deads you! Trust me, if he doesn't dead you, he really doesn't give two shits about you. Any man with respect for himself shouldn't allow you to be loose like that. And you should be following the same rule. Trust me, I know it can be much easier said than done. But the last thing you want to do is settle for that type of behavior! Where does it end if you do? How far is he going to take his smutery if you allow it?
It's such a touchy subject but you have a man that does anything Kanye has described in that song, just keep these golden rules in the back of your head. You WILL drive yourself crazy trying to change him. You WILL slowly and repeatedly break your own heart standing by him waiting for him to change himself. And as much as it hurts, you WILL eventually find yourself in the position where leaving him seems like the only way to show him how serious you are. Why? Because YOU allowed him to do the same bullshit to you for so long that it's too late to put your foot down!
It's a sad situation. If you think it's hard now, keep doing what you're doing. Eventually you'll realize that these types of guys and situations will linger on and on and on until YOU put an end to it or they just get bored with you. Put yourself in their shoes, if you had your cake and were able to eat it too, would you give it up?
Unfortunately, Jo Jo Said It!
By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow the BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt
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