After three very long weeks of riding the bus to work, I've truly learned how dirty and perverted old men can be. Let me tell you about this weird guy on the bus who decided that he's in love with me before he even knew my name (which by the way he thinks is Stephanie!) Ah yes, my morning bus stalker. The first day on this bus, after taking 4 wrong buses, I was greeted by this man with a cane. He hobbled onto the bus a few stops after me and proceeded to sit down next to me. The bus was packed so he was sitting mighty close. Close enough for me to feel his fingers clutching the bag he had sitting on his lap. Or so I thought. As the bus swayed back and forth, I occasionally felt his finger rub my leg but didn't think anything more than him trying to keep a hold on his bag. As the back of the bus started clearing out I noticed that he didn't move over. He was still right next to my side as if the seat next to him didn't open up. Now I knew something wasn't right.
Here comes his attempt at conversation. It started with my crossword book, then moved on to the weather, then I coughed and he started in with the "everybody sick" talk. Mind you, I never responded with more than one or two word answers (which is not like me at all!) The next time his fingers moved by my side I very calmly leaned over to him and said, "Sir, if you move your fingers one more time, I will break them!" He immediately moved his hands with a smirk and said, "okay, okay I'm sorry."
I thought that was the end of it until he tried again 2 stops later. By this time I was once again crammed into the back corner seat of the bus, not able to move unless he did. So I stood up, turned to him and swung as hard as I could. And sat back down like nothing had happened. Needless to say, the guy next to him grabbed his shoulders, bus driver pulled over and the old man was walked off the bus in a matter of 2 minutes from the impact!
Would you believe this man gets back on the bus the following Monday with a magnetic bracelet and two packages of Tylenol Cold and Flu talking about "I don't wanna argue with you anymore." Since then, everyday this man gets on the bus with a new bracelet or small gift for me and proceeds to sit next to me whenever possible and small talk. I have formed an alliance on the bus. I have people who purposely block me in since I get off before he does. Where do people get the nerve from? And how is this man or anyone like him, allowed to use public transportation if he obviously don't know how to act right in public!?!?!?
A word to all you dirty old men out there... KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF and don't buy random (daily) gifts for strangers who are 20 years younger then you. Very uncomfortable!!! I'm sure you will see this man on the news someday. Until then, I may just have to YouTube his attempts. Now that he has learned to keep his hands folded on his lap, it is quite funny to see how he gets on the bus and waits for the people next to me to get up... I'm onto you buddy ... stalk from across the bus!
Yup, Jo Jo Said It ... keep playing with me and I will post your video and worldwide your name next! Yeah, I peeped it on your ID when you went to show my your kids, fool ... Mr Gonzalez, I'm watching you!!!!
By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow The BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt
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