Not a Team Player?

 

What the fuck is wrong with people these days? Have we, as a society, really built up the image of man to such a point that some of them refuse to accept any type of help from a woman? Seriously? It's almost twenty fucking twelve peoples! How long are you going to live your life thinking you can do everything on your own? Or better yet, how long are we all going to be subject to a world where men feel that it is better to just slow gas at your own pace than to let a woman help you out?

Oh I'm sorry, some men feel that a woman can only help them by cooking, cleaning, giving them money or shutting the fuck up when THEY don't feel like hearing you (or the truth for that matter!) I'm honestly getting so sick of this bullshit! 

Let me tell you something ladies, I don't care how much you love that man, if he won't accept your help than it usually means he doesn't respect you or trust you enough to truly believe that you can do something for him that he can't do himself! Now ask yourself if that's really worth your time and energy?!?!?!

Fuck you, I said it!

A relationship is supposed to be a team! Not one person carrying the other. Just because you may not financially carry someone doesn't mean that you don't carry them at all. Do you know how many relationships I know of that the man wouldn't know where anything was without the woman? Sad, sad story. Every relationship is different and based on different foundations. But if you can't name 5 things that you do for each other on a daily basis, do you really think you have a "relationship" by standard definition?

Check It At The Door ...

There seems to be a lot of funny business goin on lately and I'm not sure who told you guys that a respectable female sends you naked pix of herself before she's ever met you, but it must have been the same person who told these same byrds that they are respectable females! Let me clearly define this for you. If you are using social networking sites like Twitter, Myspace and now Facebook to smut yaself out, please understand that you have no one to blame but yourself when your nudey flix wind up on the Internet! Now I personally believe every woman should have at least one naked picture of herself, one smokin bikini shot and of course evidence of how sick you looked in that dress. Having sexy pictures of yourself is completely normal, what's wrong with admiring how beautiful we are? BUT .... unless it is your husband, never ever send naked photos of yourself to anyone. You never know what anomosity the future holds!


Do you seriously think that someone you met off the Internet, who is asking you for naked pics before he asks you to meet him face to face is going to respect you? Especially if you sent them without being asked! HUGE NO NO says JoJo!!!  Sweetheart, as soon as you send those pix, your ass will literally wind up in a folder with the rest of the eye candy, far away from the handful of females he may consider being loyal to when and if he matures! These females make me laugh. I see all these comments from females I know my guy friends don't know personally on some " I miss you ...", "why haven't you called me ...", or my personal favorite, "you're such a jerk ..."! Bitch if he wanted to call you, he would have. Just like if you meant anything more to him than an entertaining way to kill time, he would have been asked to see you. It doesn't matter how far away you live, he would try to make plans to see you. But he hasn't, has he?


Keep dreaming sweetheart. If any of the following apply to you, please change ya swag when you finish reading this blog post, you are slowly but surely killing the game for the rest of us, making men of all ages think we are all byrds and can be treated accordingly!


1. If you go on his social network page and see other females bitching at him for the same things you bitch about. (i.e. not calling you back, or not calling at all, not answering you when you text him. )


2. If he never answers your phone calls but proceeds to answer your texts.


3. If he only compliments you on your looks and/or he only comments on your pix that show skin or where you're purposely popping your ass out (which by the way is excessively corny!)


4. You've never met him but he has your friends on his pages also. (You should check their profiles and pix. You know you stalk him anyway, I'm sure he's saying the same generic shit to them as he says to you)


5. You know he has a girlfriend yet still feel that you may have a shot when and if they break up.


6. You send pix to guys you don't know personally.


7. You see a comment on his page from another female saying something disrespectful about another female and you ask him if she was talking about you! (Hint, this is what happens when you have a guilty conscience. In these cases you already know you're a slide and have obviously accepted yourself.)


8. His guy friends have no clue who you are or know that you're on their boys ish and still request you anyway!


9. You post bikini pix of yourself at the beach (no harm there), but you're wearing makeup! Anyone who goes to the beach wearing makeup isn't comfy in their own skin. They gonna see what ya ugly ass looks like in the mornin anyway!

10. You've accepted the trend of talking to random guys, sending them pix of you, stop talking to them and start talking to their friends.... you're such a byrd, you didn't even realize you're sending the same pix to friends!

Try reading these two books and get yaself together!
Yes sweetheart ... JoJoSaidIt  ... deal with it!


~Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow The BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt

A True Inspiration

How many of us know what osteogenesis impferecta is? Let me rephrase that. How many 19 year olds know what osteogensis imperfecta is? I've came across a few articles and conversations about this 19 year old girl from Ridgewood, Queens, who not only studies the more commonly called brittle bone disease, but is raising a 3 year old, tutoring students and studying physics at NYU!

Layla Quinones has an amazing story to tell after just 19 years in this world. According to the Daily News, this chic was so smart, she was taking Regents classes in middle school! Quinones got pregnant at 16 and forced to drop out of high school. Although pregnancy changed the location, it didn't stop her education. She attended GED classes, all while continuing to work throughout her pregnancy. This is not your typical 16 year old! The Daily News reported that "... she finished the program in 2008 with the highest GED score in the state that year."

Having a child is a life altering experience, at any age. But this girl is living proof that having a child doesn't have to be "life ending." She stayed true to her own passions to learn and her dreams to succeed. She's raising her now, three year old son and finishing her degree at NYU. Quinones' dedication to her education and to her son, combined with her intelligence, allows her to get paid for what she loves! She is actively involved in the CSTEP Program at NYU, which pays her for the research she dedicates herself to.

So next time you have the nerve to say you can't do something, remember this girl. Despite what life threw at her, she handled it and she kept it moving towards her goals. What have you done for yourself?

By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow the BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt
News Source: The Daily News
Picture Source: Google Images

The Fragile Fear of Starting Over

Dammit Kanye! It is now Day 4 that "Toast" is simmering in my head. It doesn't help that it's been getting hourly airplay either. So I feel the need to break it down now. We all hear Kanye's side as a man, but what about the women on the other side of this spectrum? Yes, most females who stand by these types of men are just weak, suckaz for love, but not all! Sadly, and I say sadly because it is sad, that there are strong females who stand by a man, dealing with all their smutery because of 3 main reasons: love, loyalty and the fact that they know their man is not physically cheating! Bitch, he's STILL in violation here!

As much as it sucks to admit ladies, they are never going to change without losing something they hold dear. Which is a contradiction in itself because if they held you dear, would they be drifting elsewhere? Even if it is just to casually flirt with other females solely to maintain their own ego, it's not right and you (despite who you are) are a woman at the end of the day and you don't deserve to be treated like a byrd. Mask it however you like, make whatever excuses you want, but because you stay loyal to a man who everyone, including yourself, can see is openly flirting with other females, is treating you like a byrd. He's sure as hell making you look like one! And I'm not saying talking about healthy, casual flirting here. I'm talking about the level of flirting that makes him seem single!

Now, back to Kanye's message. It's as clear as the message from the movie "He's Just Not That Into You." Do we really have to break down the lines of his song? From the very beginning of the song, that man starts his 5 minute warning to females in general. I can't lie, when I first heard the song I wanted to break something! It made every excuse I ever came up with go right out the window. If your man is jamming out to that song, you should really double check yaself, forget bout him. Take a good look at what YOU allow! Again I say that Eve said it the best, men only do what we allow, and in most cases, we do let them!

As hard as we try, we can't change other people. When you try to change someone else you wind up allowing yourself to change for that person. Why? Because that person is not going to change their ways for you, so what winds up happening? You mold your ways to accommodate them, knowing the entire time that they will not show you the same respect. A relationship is 50/50. And I'm not talking about financial input, no relationship will ever be equal in that respect. But effort-wise, everything should be 50/50. You should not be doing anything for a man or a woman for that matter, they are not willing to do for you.

You allow your man to send random females pictures of his personals... do you think he would accept you doing that same thing? Hell no! Try it, you'll find yourself in the middle of the "you're a female, you should respect yourself and stop acting like a whore," speech which comes right before he deads you! Trust me, if he doesn't dead you, he really doesn't give two shits about you. Any man with respect for himself shouldn't allow you to be loose like that. And you should be following the same rule. Trust me, I know it can be much easier said than done. But the last thing you want to do is settle for that type of behavior! Where does it end if you do? How far is he going to take his smutery if you allow it?

It's such a touchy subject but you have a man that does anything Kanye has described in that song, just keep these golden rules in the back of your head. You WILL drive yourself crazy trying to change him. You WILL slowly and repeatedly break your own heart standing by him waiting for him to change himself. And as much as it hurts, you WILL eventually find yourself in the position where leaving him seems like the only way to show him how serious you are. Why? Because YOU allowed him to do the same bullshit to you for so long that it's too late to put your foot down!

It's a sad situation. If you think it's hard now, keep doing what you're doing. Eventually you'll realize that these types of guys and situations will linger on and on and on until YOU put an end to it or they just get bored with you. Put yourself in their shoes, if you had your cake and were able to eat it too, would you give it up?

Unfortunately, Jo Jo Said It!

By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow the BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt

The Power of Words

Relationships, intimate and platonic alike, are pointless without communication. And I'm not talking about talking just to talk. I mean, honest and genuine communication. With that being said, sometimes, more so with intimate relationships, you find yourself in a position where you didn't say something that you later realize you should have. Like those certain times where your girlfriend goes off on a tangent, accusing you of cheating. You know you're not cheating but your pride reacts before you do and you just let her talk. Is it so hard to calmly tell her how much she means to you and that you are NOT in fact cheating on her? No, cuz that would be too easy, right?

Ladies ... we have it a bit harder because most guys don't voice their emotional feelings. But, if you're talking to your guy about one of your male friends, or commenting on a cute guy walking down the street (if you and your guy are cool like that,) or you just innocently say something about how fly someone famous is ... and you're man either comes back on a negative defense or just starts twitching ...  he's having a jealous moment. It's kinda your job to comfort him, even if you have to cater to his ego for a moment or two. You know damn well if the situation was flipped that is how you would want him to react, so show him that you are willing to do the same for him.

Now reverse the situation. This concept of "see something, say something"  situations could mean the total opposite of what I've mentioned above. If you or your partner (or both of you) are always putting yourself in questionable situations, you need to just part ways. Physical cheating is NOT the only type of cheating. When you are in a relationship, everything you do affects the other person. The way you act outside your relationship, reflects the strength or weakness of your relationship, whether directly or indirectly. Let's say physical cheating isn't an issue in your relationship. But as you go about your normal day at school, work, shopping, or just hanging out with friends, and you engage in conversations with the opposite sex as if you were single... you're violating both your partner and your relationship.

I'm not at all saying while in a relationship to cut off the opposite sex. You all know how important I think maintaining friendships with the opposite sex is while in a relationship. What I'm saying is, when you are in a relationship, things change, including the way you speak to the opposite sex. I've been in a relationship for four years and I still have sexual conversations with the opposite sex. However, they are never personalized to me and another man. Example, it is perfectly normal and acceptable to engage in a conversation about the general topic of sex. But under no circumstances is it acceptable (or respectable for that matter) for someone in a relationship to speak to another man/woman about having sex with them, or what it would be like or anything of the like.

Common psychology will tell you that if you can engage in conversations like these, knowing you are committed to someone else ... you're not as committed as the front you're putting on. I say this because in all honesty, when you truly love someone, you don't see the opposite sex the same way anymore. Which is funny, because everyone knows that when you're in a relationship (or pregnant) the opposite sex flocks to you. This is especially true with females. Females can sense when a man has a girlfriend and more than enough times that attracts her more because the stress option is already taken. That man, in essence, is another woman's problem. This side female can move into the picture and only reap the benefits because once she gets what she wants, she sends him right back home to dish his bullshit out to his girl. The same goes for guys. The most bullshit a side guy will ever hear is that girl bitching about her man! Which is just giving him more ammo!

The moral of this story is to watch your words. Your words come from thoughts and eventually, your thoughts become actions! If you are a man who is in a relationship, yet proceeds to still have questionable conversations with other females, you're setting yourself up to potentially lose your girl. Why? Because you're putting it out there to another female that you don't respect your girl as much as you are saying you do. If you did, you wouldn't be carrying on such conversations with the second girl. And trust me, we sense that. You could sit there and tell me you love your girl and you would never cheat on her til you're blue in the face. But if you're still sitting on the phone with me every chance you get, allowing our conversations to go wherever they may lead, you're wrong. I will treat your girl like a byrd and you, like your single. Because that is the energy YOU are putting out there.

Once again, Jo Jo Said It ... make sure you know your role and stay in your lane if you are in a relationship. Sooner or later it will catch up with you and you'll learn the true meaning of the saying .. "play yaself, find yaself by yaself!"

By Jo Anne-Patricia @MzFilterless
Follow The BlogBot @JoJoSaidIt